29 January 2009

translations.

TRANSLATION OF A TRIATHLETE'S VOCABULARY:

[borrowed from
TRI DIESEL]

I am an outdoors type of person.
Really means: I train in any type of weather. If its raining, snowing, 90 degrees w/100% humidity, or winds gusting at 30 mph. I don't want to hear any complaints because I will still train in it and you're just a big wuss for complaining about it.

I enjoy jogging.
Really means: Lets run hills until we puke.

I enjoy dining out.
Really means: I enjoy eating out, in or anywhere else I can find food. Don't be shy because with the amount of food I eat, you can have that main entree instead of a salad and you will still look as though you eat like a rabbit in comparison. Don't get your limbs too close though as I may take a bite out of you. Most importantly don't expect any taste off my plate unless you can bring something to the party like more food. Oh, and don't ask me any questions during breakfast, Mid Morning Lunch, Lunch, Afternoon lunch, Dinner or Recovery Dinner as it does not lend to efficient food intake.

I enjoy quiet walks on the beach.
Really means: Walks on the beach warming up into an 8 mile run and then plunging myself in the ocean for a 2 miler. If you get in my way youre going to find out what mass start is and let me assure you that you don't want to find out.

I enjoy sharing quiet moments together.
Really means: It's taper time. Just back off because I am strategizing and in a pissy mood because I am worried about my "A" race and can't workout.

I like stimulating conversation.
Really means: while we are running, we can talk about food. Then we can talk about how we decided what to wear on this run based on the temperature at start time versus the temperature at the time we expect to finish, how horribly out of shape we are, how many miles we did last week, and how many we will do this week and next week. Then we can talk about food.

I enjoy road trips and leisurely drives.
Really means: You have your choice of Wisconsin, Idaho, Florida, California, Arizona, and New York, (AND MEXICO!) but don't expect to do much site seeing. If I get enough support from you we might be able to include Hawaii in there.

I am an active person.
Really means: Aside from my 40 hour job, and the 8 mandatory hours of sleep a night. 10 hours a week are devoted to me during the off-season and 20 during race season leaving us 4 hours. 2 of which are spent inhaling food and you not talking to me, so lets make the best of the 2 hours we will spend together on average each day. If you are a licensed massage therapist or doctor this would make the most optimal use of our time together. Nutritionist is also acceptable, but I probably already know just as much as you.

6 comments:

  1. I've been enjoying your blog, and I see you on BT. (I'm serendipity there.)

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  2. If I only trained enough to eat that much!!!!! :)

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  3. Love it!! Made me laugh, especially this one: "Lets run hills until we puke"

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  4. Hey, I saw your blog url on CK. You go girl. Fantastic. I used to think about running a marathon and i put it off too long, now I have a touch of arthritis, and spent two years hobbling because of plantar faciitis.... so enjoy it while you can.

    So considering how busy a triathlete is, you probably won't read these comments.
    SimKathy on CK

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